Friday, April 18, 2014

Candide II (I Got A Little Passionate With This One :D)

In what ways does Voltaire’s satire extend beyond his own time? What would Voltaire think of our own age, for example? What aspects of our thought and behavior might he satirize most fiercely? What kinds of political, philosophical, and religious hypocrisy are most prevalent today? 

Voltaire was very ahead of his time. Though Candide was written during the Age of Enlightenment, something tells me that most people of his day just couldn't wrap their little heads around a few ideas in the book. All throughout the book, religion is a sick, twisted ball of lies and corruption. Every religious guy sucked. Except James the Anabaptist. He was cool. Why? Because no one back then liked Anabaptists. Whoa. What could this mean? Could Voltaire be a devil worshiper? A vessel of evil? Nope. He was simply showing that there is a definite disparity between religion’s professed roles, and its real role. And that the people who followed these religions are definitely stupid.

And what about all the death and suffering? Who in their right mind jokes about that? Someone who’s tired of listening to everyone go on and on about how things just couldn't happen any other way. It's destiny! It's fate! It's a load of crap. There were lots of Panglosses in Voltaire’s time, all spouting the same shallow, overly optimistic spiel of idiocy. “’Tis for the best” over here and “everything happens for a reason” over there. Well, all of that would be fine if it were rooted in any sort of logic or reality. But it’s not, so let the jokes flow.


Voltaire would have a field day with American politics. Blatant social injustice to the left, a comical lack of logic to the right, and basic intelligence in between; what more could a satirist ask for? So what kind of hypocrisy and outright stupidity would be included in Candide II? How about the argument about gay marriage? The Christians say that legalizing gay marriage would destroy the sanctity and purity of marriage as a whole (a.k.a. straight marriages)…yet, since May 2008, only nine civil unions pledged between gay couples were terminated, equaling only 1.1 percent of the 799 same-sex unions during that period, and at the same time, there were 8,711 traditional marriages and 6,965 divorces granted (The Canberra Times). Use whatever reasoning (or lack thereof) you want to explain it, but the dumbness shall be satirized. How about the fact that in 99.6% of all professions, men are still paid more than women. Or maybe how there was a “Meet and Greet” with George Zimmerman that had hundreds of idiots standing in line waiting to meet their hero. Oh, and the pay gap between professional athletes and the doctors that treat them? That’ll definitely have its own chapter. Without doubt, Candide II would be much thicker than its predecessor. There's a whole lot of dense people to make fun of.

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